by George Wolf
RIDE ALONG
In 1982, a young Eddie Murphy made his film debut in 48 Hours, a funny, action-filled cop caper that instantly launched him toward household name status.
Ride Along feels like an attempt to rewrite that film, and that history, to the benefit of Kevin Hart.
Okay, so Hart is hardly a newbie, and he’s proven himself to be a very funny guy through numerous supporting roles and one documentary/ concert film (Laugh at My Pain, 2011). But here, though he gets most of the screen time as part of a wannabe action/comedy, he’s on his own more than Murphy’s Reggie Hammond was in that redneck bar
Hart plays Ben, a security guard in Atlanta who has ambitions of being a police officer. When he finally gets accepted to the academy, Ben thinks it’s time to pop the question to longtime love Angela (Tika Sumpter, in a role that’s little more than eye candy.) Trouble is, Angela’s brother James (Ice Cube) is already a street-smart cop, and he thinks Ben isn’t worthy of his sister or a badge.
The answer is a “ride along,” and Ben jumps at the offer to join his future brother-in-law on his duties for a day, in hopes of convincing James to give the marriage his blessing. Ladies, maybe one day you’ll be able to get hitched without a man’s approval, but today is not that day!
The script comes from a committee of writers, with various credits including Employee of the Month, The Tuxedo, and last year’s R.I.P.D.
Wait, didn’t they all suck?
Yes, they did, and Ride Along would be equally bad, except for the efforts of Hart. Director Tim Story‘s main strategy comes straight outta Cleveland in the LeBron days: just go trough the motions and wait for the star to bail everybody out. Hart tries his best, and single-handedly delivers a few good moments of physical comedy, but it’s not nearly enough.
Kevin Hart may still get his trip to household stardom, but Ride Along is too lazy take him there.
JACK RYAN SHADOW RECRUIT
JJ Abrams can reboot a franchise – or at least, given the success of his Star Trek re-direct, that’s what Star Wars fans are hoping. But with Abrams tied up in galaxies far, far away, I guess when it came time to breathe new life into an old spy with Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, filmmakers went with the next best thing: Captain Kirk.
Yes, Chris Pine takes on the role filled by Alec Baldwin (The Hunt for Red October), Ben Affleck (The Sum of All Fears), and most lucratively, Harrison Ford (Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger). The results are barely worth noting.
American Jack Ryan is working on his PhD in London when 9/11 changes his trajectory. He ditches school in favor of the Marine Corps, but heroism (“Ryan dragged then both to safety. With a broken back!!”) sends him to a hospital to rehab and be eyeballed by Kevin Costner.
It’s a clumsy, shorthand back story meant, I suppose, to illustrate Ryan’s brains, patriotism, heroism and resilience in one reel. Plus it introduces the love of his life (Keira Knightly). Oh, that Ryan is such a good man!
Costner’s a CIA operative with designs on Ryan. Next thing you know, Russia’s trying to collapse our economy and we need Ryan to discern the algorithm.
Good God, who greenlit that yawnfest of a storyline? If the big threat is a Russian algorithm, director Kenneth Branagh will need his A-game to keep this action thriller thrilling and action packed. Will he bring it?
He will not.
Intrigue is an afterthought, tensions are kept to a minimum, and action sequences are few and far between.
Branagh pulls a bland double duty as director and baddie, playing the vodka pounding, assistant kicking, Knightly admiring Russian Viktor Cheverin. (It’s his algorithm.) Branagh can overact with the best of them, but his performance here is as colorless as Stoli on the rocks.
Pine, on the other hand, is charismatic. Costner proves to be a charming curmudgeon on occasion. Kiera Knightly is characteristically solid, but honestly, what is she doing in this film? Suddenly she has to take the role of the one-dimensional love interest to a second-rate action hero? When and why did that happen?
She deserves better than a toothless reboot. Maybe she should call Abrams. He might be looking for a new Leia.
